February stars...

I'm glad January is over. It always feels so stale and gray and cold, when it should feel fresh and new. I can feel the sun coming through the window as I write, and it feel so nice on my arms. I hate being hot, but I love warm sunlight in the winter and spring- it's a completely different animal.

I'm really looking forward to getting to the doctor finally after five years of neglecting issues that should have been addressed long ago. I'm confident that God will show us, one way or the other, the direction we will be going in, whether it's having our own baby or adopting. Either way, it will be a blessing! All I know is that I want to be a mother, and I don't care if it's my own biological child or a child that God blesses us with that needs parents.

I sort of gave up my low-carb diet, as it really seemed to mess up my system. I did manage to lose about 10 lbs, but that has probably all come back since going back to the old way of eating. My stomach really got out of whack from eating all that meat and cheese all the time. I don't eat enough vegetables either, so that didn't help. I'm going to have to consider a different way, one that is actually realistic. I can't give up bread for the rest of my life, I just won't be happy. I'd rather be a little overweight and get to enjoy food than be skinny and miserable. I guess we'll see what the doctor recommends, and I'll go with that. I've considered starting Nutrisystem except I know someone who did it, and they got really tired of the food after a while. However, they did lose a good amount of weight, so I suppose once taxes are paid and everything, it wouldn't hurt to look into it.

I need to go to Disneyland pronto. We haven't gone since December, and for most people, that seems like nothing, but for Disneyland freaks like us, it's like a lifetime. We're going on Feb. 10, so that should satisfy our craving for a little while (probably a week or two, ha!).

I need to get out of the house tonight. I feel a sense of well-being today that I don't often feel. I'm always all over the map emotionally. I think I'm going to take Jake out on a date. We haven't done that in a while. It'll be fun to surprise him. I'm usually the one doing the surprising- he's not so good at just thinking of me and bringing me something home or taking me out without my complaining about it. Oh well, I guess one of us has to be good at it, and it might as well be me.