I'm too young to feel this way...

Lately I've been feeling like I'm at least twice my age, physically, that is. I've completely run myself into the ground with poor eating habits and almost no exercise. I'll admit, my job has contributed to this, being confined to a chair most of the day. I've messed up my back so badly from sitting in that chair all day every day for the last four years. I finally decided last night that enough is enough. I really don't want to die young when all I had to do was make some simple changes in my life. Is my ruining my health worth having a cheeseburger or playing that extra game online? The simple answer-no. I guess I've been living too long feeling that "invincibility" of youth, and now it's really caught up with me. I'm turning 30 this year, no longer a child. So this morning I got up, thanked God for allowing me to wake up and see the rain outside my window, and went to exercise. My aches and pains are still there, but I am confident that with regular movement and exercise, I can be where I am supposed to be physically. I'm more than a little worried, too, about my husband, although I've learned that with him, you really have to let him figure things out for himself, otherwise it will not end well. So I've decided to just focus on myself, and hope that I might set a good example for him to follow.

On another note, I've started reading "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. I know, I know. It actually has some really good things to say about the way we as women have put ourselves first at times and haven't been as thankful as we should be for the way our husbands take care of us. Don't get me wrong, most of the women I know aren't like that at all. But I needed this slap in the face, as I've been much too content to put my husband down when I'm in a bad mood and yell and scream, but I never stop to think that what he really wants is just someone who will put those things aside and really just focus on him and what he needs. I have no problem with the Biblical description of what a wife should be. It's just hard to fulfill that role properly when women have been made to believe that we should be focusing on "me" all the time. It's way too easy to be selfish in these days. That's not what my husband needs from me. It's shameful the way that I've treated him sometimes, and he's been so supportive of me when I needed him and so calm and patient, it's about time I give him the same love and support.